The Fear of Committing Words to the Page

When it's time to begin a new story, I'm happy to begin the thinking process. I can idle an hour away just looking out the window and tentatively planning scenes, settings, and characters. But when it comes to actually writing it down, often I delay and delay. Days go by before I can bring myself to start typing. Part of that is just not having a concrete-enough idea, but part of it is also fear.

It's important to remember that being creative takes courage. It is a special act of bravery to put oneself out there, to dare to create art, or to at least attempt something so risky, so open for ridicule and scorn. That can be very frightening for a person with a less-than-perfect level of confidence, which I think is where most people stand. For my part, I can't bear to have people read my rough drafts; no one, absolutely no one, gets to see my story until it's finished. There's another kind of fear that keeps me from beginning, though, and it has less to do with writer's stage fright and more to do with satisfying my own standards.

After the jump: the fear of ruining a good thing.

As long as I'm still just thinking about the story, it's the perfect story. No inadequacies have crept in: the characters are fully fleshed-out in my mind, and the story makes perfect sense. The story is all potential, and as a result it's perfect. Have you ever had a thought that made perfect sense to you, then when you tried to say it out loud, everything got tangled up? There's always the danger of that happening when I commit words to paper. As long as it's in my cranium, everything seems promising; then the little problems begin creeping in. All the different, promising directions a story could take are all shut down when I choose just one. And that can be a frightening thought.

But even though it's scary to kill all that potential by putting down words, it's something we have to do. As writers, we cannot deny the writerly impulse. Even if nothing ever gets published, still we will be pottering about at an advanced age, scribbling down words, telling stories. It is the joy and the risk of our profession. The next time you hesitate and feel afraid, remember how important it is to get the story written down, as imperfect as it is. Revision can make things better, and we must begin that process by beginning. Take heart, and take a risk!

Comments

[Cassandra]

I know exactly how this feels. I have the "perfect" story in my head, but never write it down because of the reasons you've listed. But the story never stops haunting me - not until it's written down. This post also reminds me of something my college art prof once said, "Creativity is fearlessness." That's so perfect.

[Goose]

Hey, just found this on the Writing channel of Blogoria. I know all about the fear of putting the words on the page. I can't count the number of times I've procrastinated, hated, and scrapped something I was writing. Shoot, I'm floating around the internets rather than commit to writing a new blog :P

Great little page you got here. Busy sidebar.

[Ravyn]

Definitely know the feeling. Before the story hits the page, it's only what you imagine it to be and not what it actually is, and you can tweak it at any time--and in my opinion the pre-formation tweaking is the fun part. On the computer screen, it's still fluid, but all the flaws are visible, and you can almost see the red ink flowing from them. Once it's in paper and ink, it's out there; most of your audience may not remember your mistakes, but your proofreader will. And when it's published, or even just sent to the publishers, it might as well be set in stone.

No wonder I rarely get around to writing fiction these days.